About: Kevin

As kids when we used to think of marriages, we would imagine walking down the aisle in a white gown with a beautiful veil and our ‘Prince Charming’ waiting at the altar. The Christian brides sport a beautiful tiara or flowers in her hair to get an elegant look with the aforementioned ensemble. On the other hand, the groom sports a black tuxedo or suit. The bride also carries a bouquet which she tosses over her shoulder after the wedding ceremony (during which her maid of honour holds on to it), and it is believed that whoever catches it, would be the next in line to get married.

Christian weddings are simple and elegant, which involves exchanging wedding vows and gold bands as wedding rings between the bride and the groom. The marriage is solemnised by the priest of the church. Let us take a look over these beautiful rituals followed by Christian Catholic Wedding:

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

The Engagement Ceremony

The first function of the marriage is the engagement ceremony. It is generally hosted by the bride’s parents and is a gathering comprising of only close family members and friends. The couple exchange rings on this occasion. The engagement is announced in their local churches as well.

Bachelor And Bachelorette Parties

It is a trend that is getting popular in India. The friends and brothers of the groom host a bachelor’s party for him. This party celebrates the groom’s last days as a bachelor. On the other hand, a similar party is organised for the bride by her friends and sisters. This is known as the hen party or the bachelorette party.

As per the traditional norms, the bachelor and the bachelorette parties begin with raising the toast in the name of the groom and the bride for his/her happy married life and cute little kids too. The idea at the end is to make it a memorable night for the bride and the groom as a single woman/man before their traditional Christian wedding.

The Roce Ceremony

This ceremony also known as Haldaat which relates to applying the paste of turmeric and sandalwood on both the bride and the groom. Haldaat ceremony is prominent among the North Indian Christians. The Haldaat ceremony of North India is known as Roce. Among the Christians of western and southern India like in the state of Goa, coconut paste is applied on both the bride and the groom instead of turmeric and sandalwood paste.

WEDDING RITUALS

Welcome Of The Bride

On the wedding day, the bride arrives at the wedding venue in a car sent by the groom. His best man receives the bride with a bouquet of flowers and escorts her inside. Unlike wedding customs in other cultures, in the Christian wedding, it is not the groom but the bride who is welcomed at the altar. Later, the father of the bride escorts her down the aisle on the other side of which, her groom patiently awaits her. He hands over his daughter to the groom and showers his blessings.

Mass

The wedding mass is one the mandatory Catholic Christian wedding ritual, which begins with the priest reciting hymns as the guests seek blessing for the couple. Then the priest recites the homily which speaks to the guests, as well as the couple, about the importance of the bond of the holy matrimony. Following which the exchange of rings takes place and the couple signs the marriage register, legalising their wedding in front of the God and in accordance with the law.

Exchange Of Vows

As a promise to each other, both the bride and the groom write their own wedding vows which they read out at the time of the wedding. The vows are messages of love and respect that they have for each other. The wedding vows are usually sprinkled with a bit of humour, adding magic and love to the whole affair.

The ‘I Do’

After reading the wedding vows, the priest asks both the bride and the groom if ‘they agree to love and cherish each other in health and in sickness for as long as they shall live?’ The consenting couples reply to this by saying ‘I Do’. The priest then pronounces them husband and wife. And then the couple seal the deal with a kiss and begin their married life on a romantic note.

The Indian Touch

Traditionally, in Indian Christian weddings (especially in south India) the groom ties the ‘mangalsutra’ around the neck of the bride instead of the giving her a ring. However, the trend of rings is gaining popularity and most couples are going for it now.

The Throwing Of The Wedding Bouquet

After the wedding ceremony, the bride tosses her wedding bouquet and all the unmarried girls try to catch it. It is said that whoever does, gets married next.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Reception

After the wedding, a reception is held where the bride and the groom perform a rehearsed ballroom dance sequence. This is followed by a family dinner when the wedding cake is cut, and toasts are raised for the newly-wed couple.

The Toast

Good food and wine are a part of the mix, and the vibrant celebration with a less formal setting make it more exciting for the newly-weds amongst their close friends and family. After dinner, a toast is raised in the name of the newly-weds for their happy married life. With a live band and a particular song of the couple chosen a long-time ago, the newly-weds take the lead with their first dance as a married couple.

While most weddings in the country take with a lot of pomp and splendour, Maharashtrian weddings are not quite so. They are classically simple, traditional and cheerful in themselves. It’s all about finding joy in the little things! We had an amazing experience of one of the Maharashtrian style wedding of Bharat &Bagyashree. We are delighted to share the MaharashtrianWedding Rituals & their customswith you.

Matchmaking And Horoscope (Lagnaach Bedior)

The first step of a traditional Maharashtrian marriage procedure starts with LagnaachBedior finding a suitable match. Once that is accomplished, the horoscopes or patrikas of the boy and the girl are matched by the family priests. After the horoscopes match, the various processes leading up to the wedding begins.

PRE WEDDING RITUALS

Sakhar Puda

SakharPuda is one of the first Rituals heralding the beginning of the wedding process. It is sort of the formal engagement ceremony. It is generally held a few days before the wedding. The two families gather and the bride is given a saree, jewelry and a packet of sugar or SakharPuda by the groom’s mother as a sign of her acceptance to the family.

Muhurt Karane

The precise date and time of the wedding is decided by the family priest and the wedding preparations start at both houses by the inviting five married women or ‘Suhasanie’ to participate on a pre-determined auspicious day certain months before the wedding. In an iron pestle tied with mango leaves, the women pound turmeric or halkund to be used later. They roll out papads and make sandage (pulses soaked and ground, mixed with spices and dried in the sun). After this Rituals the shopping starts and the bride’s side often hold a rukhvat – exhibition of decorative and food items made by the bride.

Wedding Invitations

The wedding invitations are selected and printed for both sides generally months or weeks before the designated wedding date. The first wedding invitation is always presented to Lord Ganesha as a symbolic request for him to grace the auspicious day with his divine presence.

Kelvan

A couple of days before the wedding, a puja is offered to the family deity by both the bride and groom’s side with their respective relatives and friends in attendance. This is known as the Kelvan and is generally followed by a meal.

Halad Chadavane

This particular ceremony takes place on the day before the wedding. The turmeric pound during the MuhurtKarane Ritual is used by the same five Suhasinis. They apply the turmeric paste on the head, shoulders, hands and feet of the bride as well as the groom with mango leaves. The ceremony takes place in the groom’s place first, and then the leftover turmeric paste is sent to the bride’s place where it is applied on her.

Wedding Attires

The Maharashtrian groom traditionally wears an understated white or beige cotton kurta paired with a white Kanche or Dhoti with a thin border for the wedding. They take a decorative piece of cloth on their shoulders generally red or gold in color. They may wear a turban known as pheta on their head or wear the traditional white Gandhi style cap.

The bride wears silk saree with elaborate gold borders in bright colors in typical Maharashtrian trouser like style. The preferred color combinations are yellow or marigold with green or purple borders. The saree can either be Paithani measuring around 6 yards or they can be very Traditional Nauvarisarees measuring 9 yards. The Maharshtrian bride wears some typical jewelry elements – like green glass bangles or Choodas, mangalsutras with two hollow gold cups at the centers, Thusi or traditional necklaces, the typical Maharshtriannath and Vaaki or armlets. The typically Maharshtrian moon-shaped bindi is placed on her forhead.

Both the bride and the groom wear a unisex headband known as ‘Mundavalya’. It is generally two strings of pearls tied horizontally across the forehead and two lines of pears hang down from the headband in front of the ears.

WEDDING RITUALS

Ganpati Puja

The wedding day begins with worshipping Lord Ganesha and asking for his blessing for the couple’s future and that their lives are devoid of any obstacle.

Devdevak

The family deity or KulDevata is then invoked at the site where the wedding is to take place

Gurihar Puja

The bride is decked up in traditional wedding attire, usually gifted to her by the maternal uncle, and she offers her worship to a silver idol of Goddess Parvati placed on a mound of rice. She offers some of the rice to the Goddess and asks for her blessing for a prosperous life.

Punyahvachan

The bride’s parents then accompany their daughter to ask everyone present at the venue to bless their daughter.

Seeman Puja

The groom and his family arrives at the wedding venue and the bride’s mother washes the groom’s feet, applies tilak on his forhead, does his arti and feeds him with sweets.

Antarpat Ritual

The groom now appears at the mandap with his head covered by a traditional cap or turban; he wears the mundavalya and sits at his designated place on the mandap. A cloth is held in front of the groom preventing him to see the bride and this cloth is known as the Antarpat.

Simant Pujan Ritual

Simant literally means boundary. The groom and the marriage party are welcomed at the boundary of the bride`s home or village and her mother does puja of the groom. These days, it is done on the wedding day itself at the place of marriage. Bride’s mother washes the groom’s feet by pouring a little water over his feet in a plate, does kumkumtilak, puts akshata on groom’s head, does arati and gives some sweet. The groom is made to sit in the place and bride’s father gives gifts like a piece of clothing and jewellery to the groom. Groom`s mother and ladies go to bride’s quarter and give her five saris and jewellery.

Sankalp Ritual

The priest chants the Mangalashtakas, or holy wedding vows. The bride is led to the mandap by her maternal uncle. The Antarpat is removed and the couple sees each other. They exchange the garlands and are showered with akshatas or unbroken rice.

Lagna Muhurt

Everybody present in the mandap is given akshata and everybody stands close to the mandap. The groom, head covered with topi and mundavalya tied on the forehead, is invited to the mandap where he stands on a wooden platform (pat) facing west and holding a thick garland. The priests hold a cloth screen called antarpat in front of the groom chanting mangalashtaka. The bride`s maternal uncle escorts the bride to the mandap and she is asked to stand on the other side of the antarpat also holding similar garland. Respective karvali stands behind the bride/groom with a copper kalash containing holy water and topped with betel leaves and coconut. Another young girl stands with arati. Mostly the bridegroom’s mother stands behind the bride with eksari – black beads string with big gold bead in the centre. The bride’s mother is supposed to be absent at this ceremony. She would be waiting at the bride’s quarter where she will not be able to hear the mangalashtaka.

Willing relatives, friends and guests also get chance to sing their own compositions of mangalashtaka which are typical Sanskrit or Marathi verses invoking Gods, describing the ceremony, admiring the bridal couple`s family members, giving advice to the bridal couple and finally giving blessing as also best wishes for the life together ahead. Each stanza ends with “KuryatSadaMangalam, ShubhMangalSavdhan” and everybody showering akshata on the bridal couple.

At the stroke of the muhurt, the priest chants last verses of the mangalashtaka loudly removing the antarpat and among the traditional music of vajantri (consists of shehnai and choughada). The groom first puts a garland around the bride’s neck and then the bride around the groom’s neck. The respective karvalis apply holy water from the kalash to the eyes of bride and groom and perform arati.

Kanyadan Ritual

The father of the bride then gives his daughter away to the groom along with his blessings for them to start a life of Dharma, Artha and Kama. The groom accepts his blessings and says he is receiving love in exchange of love, and that the bride is the Divine love that is showered from the Sky and received on Earth. The bride asks him to promise that he will love and respect her. The bride’s parents perform worship of the couple as avatars of Lord Vishnu and Goddess Lakshmi. The couple ties a piece of turmeric or halkund with a thread on each other’s hands and the Ritual is known as Kankan bandhane. The groom then seals the Ritual by placing the mangalsutra around her neck and applying vermillion on her center parting. The bride in return applies a sandalwood tilak on the groom’s forehead.

Akshataropan

The wedding couple is asked to hold akshata in left hand and shower them with the right while expressing their desire for gunsamriddhi, dhan, dharma, santan, kirti. The priest and elders pray that all their desires be fulfilled.

Mangalsutrabandhan

Continuous Chanting mantras during the ritual when the groom puts mangalsutra around bride`s neck.

Vivah Hom

A stone is kept to the west of the homkund (fire) and a pot of water is kept to its northeast. To the north, four darbhas are spread on which there are two vessels. A pot of Ghee is kept nearby. The priest tells the bridal couple that having taken the oath of marriage now; the same is to be taken in the witness of the sacred fire. Then the priest asks the groom to pour ghee in the name of Skanda, Prajapati, Agni and Som. The groom prays to the sacred fire asking to make them pure and keep their enemy away; asking for children and their long lives; asking to protect his bride and make her give good progeny whom she would see by living a long life.

Lajahoma

A sacred fire is ignited and the bride offers grains to the fire chanting three mantras repeated by the groom. The fourth mantra, however, is uttered silently only by the bride. After that, the bride’s parents worship the couple as avatars of Vishnu and Laxmi and the couple then tie a turmeric thread on each other’s hands. As a final touch, the groom ties the Mangalsutra around the bride’s neck and puts vermillion on her forehead.

Satapadhi Ritual

The couple circumambulate around the sacred fire seven times saying out loud the seven Ritualistic weddings vows.

Karmasampati Ritual

At the end of all wedding Ritual the couple prays in front to the holy fire before it is extinguished. The father of the bride playfully twists the groom’s ear to remind him of his future duties. The couple gets up from the mandap and seeks blessings from all relatives present.

POST WEDDING RITUALS

Varat

The ultimate emotional scene of the whole ceremony is when the bride is bid a goodbye. The groom picks up the silver idol of parvati that is still sitting on gaurihar. The couple touches the feet of elders and the bride meets with all family members to bid a farewell. The couple sits in a vehicle and the procession, with a band and fireworks, goes to the groom’s place.

Grihpravesh

The couple comes to the doorstep and the groom`s mother does arati of the couple. The bride topples a measuring container filled with rice. It signifies that this bride will bring so much luck that prosperity will flow in the house like the rice flowing out of the toppled vessel. The couple sits and the groom places the silver idol of Parvati that he carried and places it in a plate of rice and writes the bride`s new name. The groom`s mother sits between the couple and sees the bride`s face in the mirror – this is called soonmukhbaghane. The couple gives sugar to all present and they have to take names in verses several times.

Manpan:

The bride’s mother does otibharane and gives saris to the groom’s mother, sisters/sister-in-laws. Bride`s father gives gifts to the groom`s father and brothers/brother-in-laws. Similarly, groom`s parents give gifts to the bride`s family.

Reception

The final celebration party is organised where the bride and the groom are introduced to all the guests. The bride wears a saree that is gifted to her by the groom’s family and the groom wears an outfit that the bride’s parents gift him.

Simple yet graceful vibrant yet elegant – a Maharashtrian wedding has flavours of culture, traditions as well as fun and playfulness.

Next day ceremonies of the marriage

Tond Dhune

Tonddhune, the bride`s mother gives a sari and a jewellery piece usually made of pearl to the groom`s mother along with a tea-set.

Vyahi Bhet

Vyahibhet, bride`s father gives a gift made of silver to the groom`s father.

Halad Utaravane

Next day morning, five suvasinis do the same as haladchadhavane but in reverse order. This is to signify that now the couple is free to go out. The groom mother unties kankan – halkund tied on the couple`s hand.

Tikhati Mejwani

Among non-vegetarian Maharashtrians, a non-vegeterian feast is organised at both the quarters separately for the close relatives within a day or two.

This is the last Wedding Rituals in Maharashtrian Wedding.

This wedding has a lot of cultural influence when it comes to weddings. However, traditional weddings in Bihar are colorful, rustic, traditional, vibrant and lengthy too. Both the families take part in various traditional ceremonies that are truly Indian.

For your better understanding of the Bihari wedding it can be divided into 3 steps: Pre-wedding, Wedding day and Post wedding rituals. Let’s take a deep dive and understand it.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Satyanarayan Katha

A typical Hindu Bihari wedding commences with the Satyanarayankatha, a prayer service which is performed by the groom’s parents along with the groom. Every relative taking part in the puja is supposed to keep a fast for the entire day. A havan (sacred fire) that is lit during the ceremony is to be kept lighted throughout the wedding proceedings.

Cheka

On an auspicious day chosen for the formal engagement, 7/9/11 members along with the groom visits the bride’s place with gifts. The bride and groom exchanges rings to formalize their relationship. The next day, the similar ritual Is Repeated By The Bride’s Side At The Groom’s Place.

Haldi Kutai

This ritual involves the groom’s mother along with other suhasinis (married ladies) grinding whole turmeric into a paste which is later sent to the bride’s house for the ubtan ceremony. While the grinding takes place, the women sing folk songs creating a festive ambiance. The same ceremony also takes place at the bride’s place.

Tilak

This ritual refers to the bride’s brother’s visit to the groom’s house as a mark of acceptance of the alliance. The brother of the bride applies tilak (teeka) on the groom’s forehead and presents him and his family with pleasantries (like silverware, utensils, sweets, jewellery) as a token of good wishes. The groom’s attire for the wedding and the haldi paste (grounded by the bride’s mother) are also offered during this ceremony. Held with much fanfare, the bride’s brother is accompanied by the family’s accountant, barber, washer-man and servants. After a lavish dinner, the brother is given a formal farewell along with gifts for the bride’s family and the bridal attire, nath (nose ring) and maangtika.

Mandappachadan

This ritual refers to the formal establishment of the mandap (pandal) for the wedding. Originally made with bamboos and decorated with banana trees and mango leaves, it is not much in vogue nowadays. Five senior married men establish the harish (a symbol of good agriculture) made of wood in the center of the mandap.

Haldi

On an auspicious day suggested by the priests, the haldi ceremony takes place at both the bride’s and groom’s places. The turmeric paste that comes from the respective in-laws’ houses are smeared on the bride/groom by married ladies amidst a lot of singing and teasing. The haldi ceremony is repeated again on the morning of the wedding day.

Dhritdhaari And Matripoojan

Dhritdhaari and matripoojan are two rituals performed to seek forgiveness and blessings from the dead ancestors as well as the living elders respectively at both the bride’s and groom’s places. The parents of the bride/groom offer paunpooji (clothes or cash) to them for coming and blessing the prospective bride/groom.

Silpoha

This ritual is held in the early hours of the day of wedding by the groom’s mother supervised by her mother-in-law (or any other senior married female). They are also accompanied by other female relatives. The groom’s mother along with her mother-in-law grinds akshat (rice) on a flat grinding stone under the cover of a chunni (shawl). As they grind, they seek blessings from the gods and elders for a hassle-free wedding.

Imli Ghutai

The ritual of imlighutai is performed by the groom’s maternal uncle-aunt to ward off any bad omen and to advise the groom to keep away from any vice. The uncle then feeds him a betel nut which the groom holds with his teeth. His mother then takes it away from him and eats it herself, signifying that she shall take away all the bad omens falling upon her son herself. The groom is then gifted clothes as a token of blessing by his uncle-aunt.

WEDDING RITUALS

Paricchavan

As the groom readies to leave for the wedding venue, his mother performs an aarti, puts a tilak on the groom’s forehead and prays that no evil can harm him. She blesses her son for an auspicious beginning.

Baraat Prasthaan

In a decorated car, accompanied by sahwala (best man, usually the younger brother), the groom leaves for the wedding venue with his family and friends. At the wedding venue, the groom’s family members are greeted and garlanded by their counterparts in the bride’s family. The groom, seated in the car, is welcomed by the priest who applies a tilak and helps him out of the car. The bride’s father then escorts him to the wedding venue.

Jaimala

The bride is now brought out to the venue where she performs an aarti of the groom. This is followed by the couple’s exchanging of garlands.

Galsedi

Before the wedding rites begin, the bride’s mother with other married women perform the galsedi ceremony wherein she carries a plate containing a small lighted lamp, betel leaves and small lumps of cow dung. One by one, all the women heat the betel leaves on the lamp and foments the groom’s face, forehead and eyes using their left hands at least five times each. Meanwhile, the rest of the women throw the lumps of cow dung behind the groom.

Kangna Bandhana

The bride’s brother/brother-in-law escorts the groom to the altar where he is joined by the bride wearing a yellow silk sari without any jewelry. The priest ties the bracelets made of mango leaves, cotton thread, colored rice, turmeric and money on the couple’s right hands, which they are meant to wear for the next four days. The barber, present in the altar, now cuts the fingernails and toenails of the couple.

Kanyadaan

Following this, the kanyadaan ceremony takes place. The bride’s father stretches out his right hand, on which the bride’s mother places her right hand. Then the groom places his right hand over which finally the bride keeps her right hand, holding a conch. All this while, the priest chants mantras and the bride’s parents give away their beloved daughter to the groom. Post this ceremony, the groom retires to his rest room and the bride changes her sari for the kanyanirakshan when she is formally introduced to the groom’s relatives.

Bhaisur Nirakshan

This ritual involves the bride’s father-in-law accompanied by the groom’s elder brother (bhaisur) arriving to adorn the bride with the jewelry sent by her mother-in-law. With head covered in a handkerchief/cap, they bless the bride, gifts her saris and lehengas, and finally adorns her with the jewelry.

Kuldevta Ki Puja

Adorned in a new sari and jewelry, the bride re-enters the altar for the kuldevtaki puja accompanied by the groom. Taking a series of vows, the priest makes the planetary bodies (the sun, moon, stars, earth and sky) witnesses to this union of the couple.

Pheras

The couple now takes the pheras around the sacred fire. As they encircle, the bride gently throws lave (roasted husked rice) into the fire from a soop (a three-sided conical cane basket) she holds while her brother refills the soop from time to time. After this, the groom applies sindoor on the bride’s forehead, starting from the topmost point of her nose to the parting of her hair. While this is repeated five times, the bride’s eyes remain shut throughout the act. The groom finally puts the mangalsutra/taagpaag around the bride’s neck to formally end the wedding rituals. The newlyweds then retire to the decorated bridal chamber.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Kohwar Parikshan

The next morning, the bride and the groom are escorted out to bathe and dress up for the day. Meanwhile, the senior ladies of the family inspect the bed to check for signs of consummation.

Salami

After the morning meal, all elders of the family pay salami (either in the form of cash or gifts) to the groom. Post this, the groom seeks permission for departure with his bride to his house.

Vidaai

The bride’s brother escorts the newlyweds to a bedecked car. As the car moves, the family members shower them with akshat and flowers. The car moves forward and backward thrice, to ward away any evil omen and then finally takes off.

Swagat Aarti

As the newlywed couple arrives, the ladies of the groom’s family performs an aarti and showers them with akshat and flowers. The groom’s sister places a copper vessel filled with rice, a plate of alta (a red colored water) and two cane baskets. The bride gently pushes the rice-vessel with her right foot, which she then places on the plate of alta. She then places her left foot on the plate. Finally, she places both her feet in the cane baskets and is led to her kohwar (bedroom). Meanwhile, the groom is made to pay cash to his sister to gain entry to the house with his new bride.

Mooh Dikhai

This is for the bride by the groom’s family as to what salami was to the groom at the bride’s place. In particular, the groom’s mother gifts the new bride a pair of gold bangles.

Chauthari

This is to mark the end of the wedding festivities with a Satyanarayankatha. This ceremony is performed to thank the gods and offer them gratitude for the completion of the wedding ceremonies without any hindrance.

Chauka Cchulai

The last of the rituals, this ceremony is done mainly for two reasons. One, the groom’s mother hands over the keys of the grocery room (bhandarkichhabi) to the new bride and second, to test the bride’s cooking skills. Five dishes are usually cooked by the bride, after which she is blessed and gifted by the elders of the family.

With the Muslim religion crossing so many different cultures, countries, and ethnicities, Muslim wedding traditions vary greatly depending on the family traditions of the bride and groom. Before being a part of a Muslim wedding, whether you’re attending as a guest, working as a wedding vendor, or participating as a family member, take a moment to understand the timeline and the nuances of the wedding.

Here are a few things you might see at a Muslim Wedding:

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS:

Valayidal

The typical Kerala Muslim wedding rituals start with the ceremony called “valayidal” function. Valayidal function is done as the groom’s family visits the girl’s house and presents her with a bangle. The valayidal ritual is led by the groom’s mother who gifts her future daughter-in-law with gold bangles and ornaments.

Naal Nischayam

The next step in a traditional Kerala Muslim wedding is when two families come together to fix a wedding date. Usually, this happens in the groom’s house in front of a priest (Maulvi) from the local mosque. After mutual discussion and agreement, they fix an auspicious date for the wedding.

Salatul Ishtikara

This is a pre-wedding ritual in which the Imam performs a prayer to seek Allah’s blessings for the marriage. This ritual is basically an official announcement of the marriage.

Imam Zamin

This follows the SalatulIshtikara. It involves a visit from the groom’s mother to the bride’s home. She brings gifts and sweets and an ominous gold coin, or silver. It is wrapped in a silk scarf and tied around the wrist of the bride, marking her formal welcome and acceptance into the new family.

The Mangni Ceremony:

We all know mangni is the engagement. Close friends and relatives come together to witness the ring exchanging ceremony. Both families shower each other with gifts. This is the public declaration of the betrothal of the bride and groom.

The Manjha Ceremony:

This Muslim wedding ritual is similar to the haldi ceremony. The bride wears yellow and is anointed with turmeric paste that is given by the groom’s family. It is said to bring a natural glow to her skin. After this, a married friend accompanies the bride everywhere until the wedding. It is a celebration with lots of singing and entertainment.

The Mehndi Ceremony:

This Muslim wedding ceremony is done a day or two before the wedding. It is mainly a ladies function where the bride’s hands and feet are adorned with mehndi/henna. Again, a lot of singing and dancing takes place. After this event, she is expected to not leave her house until the wedding.

Sanchaq

The male members of the groom’s family visit the bride’s family with gifts including sweets, a bridal outfit with accessories and jewellery. This is the last pre-wedding ritual, signifying the blessing, affection, and support of the male members of the bride’s new home.

MUSLIM WEDDING RITUALS

Arrival Of The Groom (Baraat) :

The groom goes to the wedding venue on a horse or in a car and his family and friends accompany him throughout the way. The lavish procession consists of dhol beats, music and dancing. The groom and his family come with gifts for the bride. On his arrival, the groom and the brother of the bride share a drink of sherbet (juice).

Nikaah:

This is the primary wedding ritual performed by a Maulvi. The men sit around the groom and the women sit around the bride. The bride’s father is the Waliof the bride. The groom’s family offers her Mehr to seek her consent. Prayers from the Quran are recited by the Maulvi.

The Ijab-e-Qubool is the most pivotal Muslim wedding ritual. The bride and groom are kept separate from each other. The Maulvi asks both of them to consent, and they have to say “QuboolHai” thrice to give their consent. This is similar to the Christian “I do”, only. The bride and groom have to say it thrice and they are behind a hijab that separates them from each other during the process.

This is followed by the NikahNama. This is the official marriage contract where the duties of the groom and the bride, as per the Quran, are recited in presence of two witnesses each from the bride’s and groom’s families. After the official marriage is signed, a Khutba is recited, followed by the marriage vows in the Quran. In the end, the elders perform durud, or blessing on the new bride and groom.

MEHAR is money that the groom’s family is supposed to present the bride with at the wedding day. The amount is decided and mehar is offered.

Once they agree, they are made to sign a document with a set of terms and conditions. After he proposes and she agrees, the groom is taken to the women’s section where he gifts money to the sisters of the bride. Elders then gift the couple and bless them.

Dinner is served separately to men and women. After the lavish first meal, the bride and groom and seated together with a scarf covering their heads and are made to read prayers. The Quran is kept between them and they are only allowed to see each other through mirrors. This is called ARSIMASHAF.

POST – WEDDING RITUALS

Rukhsat:

This Muslim wedding ritual refers to when the bride bids farewell to her family. The father of the bride gives her hand to her husband, asking to protect her always.

Welcoming The Bride:

When the bride arrives at her new home, she is received with a warm welcome by her mother in law. The Holy Quran Is Placed On The Bride’s Head To Symbolise Her Duties As A Wife.

Walima:

This Muslim wedding function is the reception after the wedding that is hosted by the groom’s family. It is a cheerful occasion where friends and family are invited to celebrate the bond among two families.

Chauthi:

On the fourth day from the wedding, the bride and groom visit the bride’s family. The bride’s family greets the groom with a lot of affection and gifts. There is a lavish spread and a lot of gifts for the bride and the groom from the bride’s family. This marks the end of all formal Muslim wedding rituals in between the two families.

These Muslim wedding rituals are so different from the other wedding rituals and traditions we keep hearing about. These are the true Muslim marriage traditions that the bride, the groom, and their families are expected to live by.

In the Jacobite community of Kerala the traditions are woven with cultural rituals of the Hindus and their faith stems from the Syrian Christians.  Interestingly the number seven has great significance to them as it does within other Indian wedding ceremonies.

Jacobite wedding ceremonies are not long as other religions. There are five important ceremonies in Jacobite Christian weddings. Let us explore the wedding Rituals of Jacobite Christians.

ARRANGING A MATCH

1. Kalyanamaurappa:

‘KALYANAMAURAPPA’ means ‘arranging a marriage’ between the girl and the boy. Once the groom’s family accepts the proposal, male members from the groom’s family visit the bride’s family to fix a wedding date. Both families take a decision that the girl will come to into the boy’s family along with ‘STREEDHANAM’ (wealth of a woman), which can include money, clothes, jewellery or property. Henceforth she will not lay any more claims on her father’s wealth. Once an agreement is reached, the two eldest male members from each family hold hands in a symbolic clasp.

An ‘ANGAVASTRAM’ (white cloth) covering their hands, seals the contract. The engagement is announced at the respective churches for three consecutive Sundays in the presence of the community and the families of the bride and groom. On the third Sunday, the bride and groom go to their respective churches for confession and to partake in the Holy Communion.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

1. Madhuramvekal:

This ceremony is held in the respective homes of the bride and the groom, a day prior to the church wedding. Barring a few differences, the ceremonies are similar.

The groom sits facing the east, while a barber cuts his hair and shaves off his beard. The groom’s eldest sister or female cousin anoints his hair with oil. The groom’s brother-in-law then escorts the groom for his regular bath ensuring that he does this from the westerly direction. The groom returns from the easterly direction, sheltered under an umbrella, held by the brother-in-law. On his arrival, all the ladies clap their hands and cheer him. This is called the ‘KORAVA’, traditionally considered very auspicious throughout Kerala.

In the bride’s home, she is made to wear a simple sari and her brother’s wife performs the rituals of anointing her with oil and taking her for her bath in the same manner as done for the groom. After her bath, the bride changes into a resplendent silk sari, wears traditional jewellery; adorns her hair with flowers and puts on a gold chain with a cross on it.

After the ‘KORAVA’ the bride and groom in their respective homes, heads covered, sit on a chair, which has been covered with a white cloth and are blessed by the priest. A sweet called ‘MADHURAM’ (banana slices soaked in sweet Palmyra palm juice) is brought to be blessed by the priest. After the blessing, the sweet is given to the bride and the groom by the mother or grandmother.

1.  Mantra Kodi: Preparing The’ Taali’

The sari, which the groom will present to his bride in church the next morning, is called the ‘MANTRA KODI’. The night before the church ceremony, Seven threads are taken from the wedding sari and spun together with either candle wax or rice starch. These are used for the minnu which is a small leaf shaped pendant made of gold, it has seven tiny beads placed together on the leaf to form a cross. The number seven represents the completion of creation in its perfect state.

HOLY MATRIMONY / WEDDING CEREMONY

1. Church Ceremony:

The groom will be waiting at the church with his bestman and ushers – his beautiful veiled bride will walk down the aisle on her father’s arm in the long held tradition of ‘giving away’.  The priest takes the right hand of the bride and places it on the groom’s right hand. After this, the priest reads some passages from the Bible in reference to marriage; the couple holding hands while exchanging vows.

Rings will be exchanged – this originates to the time of Abraham. The roundness of a ring symbolises an eternal promise of love and faithfulness between a man and a woman

The minnu is tied around the bride’s neck by the groom with a ‘reef knot,’ symbolising strength and permanence of marriage. The reef knot is tied as left over right and right over left. After seven days of marriage, the minnu is strung on a gold chain and is expected to be worn till death.  During this ritual the priest will say prayers.

After the blessing, the bride and the groom step out of their homes, preceded by a young girl holding a ‘DIYA’ or lamp. The bride wears cream coloured Kerala sari. In the church the priest officiates and after the sermon, the couple exchange wedding bands. All through the ceremony the bride’s sister stands behind her. Vows are exchanged and the groom ties the ‘TAALI’ to the bride. During the tying of the ‘TAALI’, the bride’s sister is replaced by the groom’s sister.

The ‘MANTRA KODI’ is placed on the bride’s head by the priest and blessed. Later, the bride puts the sari on her left hand. The same sari is worn by her for the reception. The couple joins hands and is announced man and wife.

POST WEDDING CELEBRATIONS

1. Reception:

The reception is a modern day concept, borrowed from the West and is basically a celebration of the wedding. The families involved host a grand dinner and the newly wed couple is introduced to the relatives and guests.